Earlier this month some of my dearest girlfriends threw a blessing way for baby K and I. If you’re not familiar with what a blessing way is, I must say that this experience was one I wish for all expecting women. An honoring of mom as she enters into labor, birth and ultimately motherhood. I’ve been blessed with some incredibly epic women in my life. Women who I’d rather refer to as sisters than as friends. Women who have helped guide me into the woman I am today, have held me during times of need, supported me in any choice I’ve made in this life and are constantly causing me to seek the best out of life we live together.
When a few of my girlfriends told me that they wanted to hold a Blessing Way for me and simply asked for a list of women I thought should be a part of such an event, I kindly sent over a list and quickly began to ask “what can I do to help”? My loving ladies were quick to tell me ‘you don’t get to help, you simply receive’. So with some slight reluctance, that’s just what I did. Those of you who know me know that I’m not the best at receiving and I don’t like a lot of attention directed at me. These were two things I was going to have to release for the blessing way to truly be what it was meant to be. So, I took a deep breath, made some jokes about how I’m not into the whole receiving thing, and decided that I would step into the role of a receiver [at least for this one day].
When it came time for us to all come together, I was astonished at what I was experiening from these women and this experience. I, the non-receiver was completely enveloped in more female shared love + support than I’d felt in a long time. The space and ceremony that these women had created was so intentional, so full of encouragement and grace that my being sunk deep into the ability to simply BE and allow these women who loved me so dearly, to simply do just that. Love Me!
The blessing way began with everyone going around the circle and sharing their experience with having me in their lives. They shared sweet stories of our sisterhood, offered various gifts for my birthing alter, brought beads with special meanings and intentions for a birthing necklace [to give me strength during my journey], and all seemed to agree that my ability to be fierce and loving at the same time was inspiring and what drew them to me in various forms. I just sat, hearing each of them, sharing in the tears that speaking these words of love brought and shared in tender moments with each of these women as it came time for them to share. What followed was a continuous strand of blessings, incredible amounts of love, and women standing strong for me as I journeyed into a new realm of existence. We each strung our wrists with a thread to represent the connection of support that would surround me during my birth, everyone took a candle that would be lit when I went into birth, and I was massaged and loved up with oils as I enjoyed a foot soak amongst rose petals.
During all of this, I couldn’t help but wish this for my fellow soon to be mothers out there. Feeling that this had trumped any traditional baby shower I could have been thrown, I wanted other women to be held in a similar fashion by the women in their lives. Now we know that ANY celebration around welcoming a baby into the world, traditional or not, is beautiful and full of love but THIS was something that filled me with something different as I neared my birth into motherhood. I kept saying, days after the blessing way, “women should replace baby showers with this type of celebration and honoring’. Blessing way’s should be the baby shower for the next generation. There was such ancient wisdom woven into this creation, so much that left me feeling more prepared for what the future held. I knew that not only did I have the love and support from these women that would get me through both the sweet and the tough moments of being a mama BUT on top of that, I felt held in a way that I still can’t attach words to.
Cheers to Blessing up your birth in big ways!